I recently went to the Bullying Conference. One day was for educators and one day was for students. It was awesome. Dr. Eric Cupp does an amazing job. He said it is okay to use his stuff, if it helps to save a child. So I took a lot of notes and wanted to share them with you. Some of these, might be great things for you to use in a staff development or when working with children.
At the bottom, you will find a link to Dr. Eric Cupp's website.
Bulling: It Ends with Me! Dr. Eric Cupp
Junior High is the worst years of bullying. None of them know who they are, but they are all trying to discover. High school is minimal for bullying. If you have high school bullying, then something is really wrong at your school.
Right now, 168,000 kids are not in school. (Because in spite of what we say – school is not safe for them!)
You cannot expect maturity from immature individuals. If you allow them opportunities, then they will take advantage of it.
So what are bullies looking for? POWER
So what should you do??? GIVE them POWER! (Allow them to be in charge of things at school.)
A lot of kids play around, call names, and shove. What is the difference?
The difference is the relationship between kids and the intent of the interaction. You can’t tease someone when there is a power imbalance. If they aren’t laughing, then you’re not playing. If someone is not your friend, then teasing is always inappropriate. You have to be careful with teasing.
The effects of bullying last a lifetime. It causes misery for the bully’s victims, and leaves a lasting impression of all those who witness repeated bullying incidents.
Don’t be an educator that one day a student looks back on and says, where were you? Who were you? Be an advocate.
What happens to bullies?
· If not corrected, you have life-long habits formed.
· They become a loner in high school.
· 60% of bullies will have a criminal conviction by the age of 24.
· Children identified as bullies by age 8, tend to be adult bullies.
· Experience more divorce, alcoholism and drug problems, damage their own spouses, families, and employees.
Children cannot escape the locker room, the school yard or the cafeteria.
What is missing here? Adults. Recess is not shade or walk time. It is time for adults to be stationed and involved in the activities going on.
Bullying occurs once every 7 minutes.
We must not send the message that bullying is acceptable or that victims will not be protected.
It is not okay to say “boys will be boys!” (Boys are also drawn to pornography, but we don’t say that is okay!)
Kids are a key to stopping it all. They see it. You can go to kids and ask “Tell me 5 kids that get bullied? How are they bullied?” Kids know who the bullies are and what they are doing.
Only 25% of students report that teacher intervene in bullying situations.
1 out 4 students believe that a teacher will help them!
You have to set up an environment and culture that has students believe that if they ask for help, then YOU will get it.
What are the signs that a kid ma be getting bullied?
· Clingy behavior
· Anxiety during class
· Loss of interest in schoolwork
· Decline in academic performances
· Unusual sadness
· Avoidance of school areas
· Cuts or bruises
· Visits to school nurse
· Fear of walking home or getting on bus
Bullying will stop in less than 10 seconds if there is an intervention.
Children report that bullying is worse than losing a loved one. The here and now (Jr. High) is the most important thing to them. They don’t see past it.
Dr. Eric Cupp's Link: http://www.ericcupp.com